St. Luke's Mission of Mercy - Helping out Locally at Christmas (and anytime)

There are bell-ringers everywhere you go this time of year and some choose to donate to the Salvation Army. For some Catholics, this is not without controversy. Some point to the fact that the Salvation Army finds abortion to be acceptable in many situations as a reason to withhold support. (I maintain if you use abortion viewpoint as a litmus test of support, there are a lot of other religions you would have to exclude). Others have been busy packing and shipping boxes full of items for Operation Christmas Child. Again, some have concerns about this program. I believe that giving is a very personal thing and would never tell someone which organization they can support and which they cannot. There is one local Buffalo mission that has been making a big difference in the lives of others since 1994.

St. Luke's Mission of Mercy is located on Walden Avenue in Buffalo. At this past Thanksgiving, they distributed 2,600 bundles of food. Each bundle included two bags of dry/canned goods including rolls, potatoes, vegetables, macaroni and cheese, cookies. Folks also received perishable items including meat, butter, milk, frozen desserts, etc.

• They serve two meals per day, six days a week and one meal on Sunday. 
• They provide shelter for men and women of all ages who otherwise would have no place to lay their head.
• They provide housing for many families in need.
• They provide a house for men recovering from addictions.
• They provide donated clothing, household items, small appliances to anyone in need. 
• They maintain contact with those who have needed their support in the past, including prison ministry and support for those transitioning from imprisonment to life outside of prison.
• They offer their church for the burial of Catholics who would have no other place to go, donating the time of their choir and facilities. 

It is my experience that they are always in need of new socks, gloves, hats, coats, hygiene products, medications, prayers, and time. They rely solely upon the generosity of others and if you are looking for a local organization to support, please consider St. Luke's Mission of Mercy. 

Donate HERE

To volunteer, contact them HERE

Happy Abba's Day

In the U.S., Father's Day is celebrated on June 15th, the same day the Church honors The Most Holy Trinity. No doubt, the focus of the liturgy will upon the Holy Trinity, yet earthly fathers and the men who play a fatherly role in the lives of children will be recognized with affection at Mass. As with any holiday, secular or religious, there are quiet pangs of emptiness for those who have lost someone that would have been a big part of the special day. On Father's Day, families will be seen walking into church or the local diner, hand-in-hand, laughing and teasing one another. To all who recognize a father in the group, a smile will be offered with the greeting of "Happy Father's Day!" For people who have lost a father due to death, or as is often the case, by choice - there can sometimes be the feeling that the day cannot end fast enough. We recently celebrated Mother's Day in May, and I am certain there were many who missed that special woman in their lives, no longer at the family table during celebrations. Haven't we all had countless occasions when something special happens and we reach for the phone, only to realize that we can no longer call them on the phone to share a bit of good news?

Image by arztsamui/freedigitalphotos.net

By the Grace of God, we as Christians have a direct connection to our family in Heaven - the Communion of Saints. It is always our hope that our loved ones on earth will one day join the heavenly angels and saints, yet we humans still mourn our loss on earth.  It is no coincidence that Christ gave His mother to the Church through John, for safe keeping. She is our mother in Heaven, always interceding for us and drawing us closer to her Son. In turn, Christ certainly caused quite a stir by referring to God as Abba! He even gave us a model for prayer to His Father! On this Father's Day, I'd like to remind all who read this and miss their earthly father, or do not have a father in their life for another reason, that you DO have a father. Your Father in Heaven loves you immeasurably, will never give up on you, is slow to anger and rich in kindness. So if you have no father to buy a gift for or make a telephone call to, never yield to despair. Ask God to comfort your heart, and fill any void. He made everything in the world and beyond for YOU. Sure, earthly dads help you learn to ride a bike, and help put food on the table, but your Heavenly Father gave you the world.

God, our Father,

we ask that you bless all men

who are fathers on earth to your children.

In a special way, we think of those who

no longer have a father in their lives. Hold them in your arms 

when they long for a fatherly embrace, protect them and keep them

as only a loving father can. We also pray for boys and men 

who are not yet fathers, but will be some day. 

May they teach their children to know your Divine love, 

and to trust in your Providence until they are reunited with 

you in paradise one day. We ask these things in the name

of your Son, Jesus Christ.

+Amen

Book Review: The Christian Alphabet Book

Delightfully illustrated, authentically Catholic, and spiritual food for the Domestic Church. Those are the words that encapsulate my review of the book: The Christian Alphabet Book: Teaching Children about Jesus, Prayer, and the Bible by Tracy Sands.

When I was offered a review copy, I thought I was receiving a children's book. Once I received it and had the opportunity to skim the pages, I quickly realized that it is a whole family book. Much more than a book to teach your preschooler the alphabet, this is a tool that will become a family heirloom - seriously.

In a nutshell:

• Each letter of the alphabet is a beautiful illustration containing ancient and modern Christian symbols used to teach a lesson
• Every page highlights a different letter, and more important, a lesson for family discussion
• For each letter, the right-hand page has a 'seek and you shall find' activity using the symbols. On the left-hand page, there is a basic lesson and fun activity. The primary lesson is highlighted in red and a prayer closes out the page. 
• Scripture quotes taken from: 
• New American Bible Revised Edition  
• Revised Standard Version - Second Catholic Edition
• NIV
• and excerpts/references were used from Youcat

Having said all this, though I have found nothing contrary to orthodox Catholic teaching, it is important to note that it is for all Christian families.This book contains no hot-button theological topics that separates Catholic theology from the theology of other Christian communities. It is entirely Christo-centric, teaching families about the loving God who sent His Son, our Savior. I cannot recommend this book enough.

The author also offers various items at her website, including a cd with songs to go with the book and personalized frameable name art.  

UPDATED: On Parental Priorities: Planned Parenthood & Popularity

Since this story was first posted, a positive ending has developed.... This is a lesson for all parents and educators.  Read on...

It's a good thing my family loves me. I'm not feeling a whole lot of love these days. As I was planning to write my third and final installment in the On Parental Priorities series, I received a permission slip from our son's school. I had already outlined my thoughts focusing on the failure of the Domestic Church in regard to the catechization of our children, and how this is affecting our Catholic Schools. The slip I was expected to sign brought the intended topic to a boil for me so I put it aside for a week or so.

The beginning of the story is probably best expressed in another entry from a year ago I called On Blood Pressure, Edmund Burke and the Domestic Church (opens in a new window/tab). You'll follow along better if you read that entry first. Just do it and I'll be right back.

Now, about that permission slip. Once again, seventh and eighth graders throughout our county were invited to a "Youth Leadership Conference" and the sponsors are as follows:

1. Our county Youth Bureau
2. Our city's Youth Bureau
3. Our local community college (they provide the location for the event)
4. Our local YMCA 
5. Planned Parenthood

I made my displeasure fury about the situation known last year. It was received with a confused expression, and the wordless message I received back was that I had lost my mind. How could I possibly be upset over Planned Parenthood's sponsorship of a conference my son was to intend? (I am purposely leaving bits of the story out to protect certain ignorant individuals involved. Yes, I said ignorant.) I felt called to instruct the ignorant, I did, and here I am. Once again, I'm a crazy person who cannot understand why a Catholic school will send their students to a conference sponsored by Planned Parenthood. There are two Catholic schools in our county and both participate. There, I said it. It is now stamped forever in some cyber-cache. So sue me.  

This year, my approach was different. I simply sent an e-mail stating that our son would not attend anything that was sponsored by Planned Parenthood, and that like last year, we would attend Mass and engage in works of mercy instead. I didn't receive a reply and didn't expect to. There wasn't really anything to say. Another parent called me to discuss transportation to the conference. I told her that a conference sponsored by Planned Parenthood went against everything our family believes and she thanked me for the reminder. She had forgotten they were a sponsor. Then she went to visit a friend at the youth bureau and that friend assured her that Planned Parenthood hasn't made a presentation at the event in the past few years due to parental concerns. I corrected the parent by sending her a news link to the event where the presentation and presenter were both plainly mentioned last year. A couple of other parents contacted me after they questioned the involvement of Planned Parenthood in the conference. They had both heard through 'the grapevine' that I refused to sign the permission slip. Unlike me, they received a reply via e-mail. They were told that our children were going to be kept away from Planned Parenthood leaders and that the teachers were to make certain that the students did not attend any presentations offered by Planned Parenthood. 

Condom lollipops - creepy handouts from Planned Parenthood in Rochester, NY 

One father of a younger student shared that word substitution would better illustrate the absurdity of our attendance at the event. Substitute Planned Parenthood with KKK, Convicted Sex Offenders, North American Man Boy Love Association, Nazi Party, Adolph Hitler, and it would be more clear that our participation was preposterous. Maybe. The bottom line in this situation is simple: everyone else is doing it! I admit that I did have a glimmer of hope that some sort of Divine intervention or spiritual enlightenment would take place. I've now lost hope in this situation. I'll have to wait for the conference to be highlighted in the newspaper again, with our kids on the front page in their uniforms at an event sponsored by Planned Parenthood. All of this so that they can learn yoga, how to get along with others, and other Obama-like niceties. Yes, I am completely void of any charitable words, and to say that I am in the desert over Lent is an understatement. 

In addition to contacting responsible parties at our school, I also wrote another letter to the editor of our local newspaper. I am hoping that the reason I didn't receive a call for verification was due to the overwhelming length of it. They do suggest between 250-400 words and my contribution pushed to nearly 600 words. After a week of no confirmation call from the newspaper, I resubmitted a much abbreviated version at 250 words. Now I wait for the call and hope the letter is printed prior to the event.  My original, longer version is as follows:

If you live in Genesee County and have a child in 7th or 8th grade, you most likely received a permission slip for the annual Youth Leadership Conference to be held at GCC on March 13, 2012. Once again, Planned Parenthood is listed as a partner of the program. Few parents question their presence in a conference intended for 12-14 year old kids; most signed the permission slip without a second thought.  

Last year, a Planned Parenthood representative offered a presentation at the same conference based upon a quote attributed to the18th century philosopher Edmund Burke, "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." On their own website, they describe themselves this way: "Planned Parenthood is the nation’s leading sexual and reproductive health care provider and advocate." Strange how a sexual and reproductive service advocate is teaching our children about good and evil, don't you think? Why would they want to be affiliated with a group of young teens? They are simply grooming future customers.

Planned Parenthood's foundress, Margaret Sanger, was a proponent of eugenics. She believed the purpose of promoting birth control was "to create a race of thoroughbreds," as she wrote in the Birth Control Review, Nov. 1921. Today, Planned Parenthood receives over 300 million taxpayer dollars per year. Your son or daughter cannot be given an aspirin without your written consent at school, yet Planned Parenthood can market sexual information and services to your child, and you can do nothing about it. It is a private matter between Planned Parenthood and your child. They provide over 1,000,000 "emergency contraceptive kits" to girls every year following unprotected sexual relations. To guarantee a failed pregnancy should one have taken place, they give the girl hormone pills that are 50 times the dosage of an average birth control pill. According to their own numbers, 11% of their healthcare clients receive abortion services. They also report providing "education" to over one million clients a year. They want to parent your children because to them, it is clear that you are not up to the task.

They recently launched a major campaign against the Susan G. Komen foundation when SGK decided to withhold future funding to certain Planned Parenthood facilities that were under Federal investigation. Planned Parenthood reacted with an all-out assault against SGK, and reportedly received much more in donations in just two days than the $680,000 they stood to lose. Mayor Bloomberg led the charge by offering a matching grant of $250,000 of his own money to Planned Parenthood. SGK's website was hacked, the organization was verbally assaulted and bullied, and their top official was pressured to resign. With their funding from SGK restored, now Planned Parenthood has directed its full attention on the Catholic Church and all who stand in the way of providing free contraceptives and "emergency birth control" to all Americans. Instead of recognizing the HHS mandate as attack on religious liberty, they accuse people with moral convictions of being "Anti-choice extremists" who "do everything they can to prevent women and men from taking charge of their lives." 

If you have children, please be a parent to them. Talk with them about what issues are important to your family, teach them what values are crucial to you, and give them a firm foundation on which to grow into adulthood. Know the intentions of people and organizations who want to serve as a mentor to your children. I've provided you with quotes from Planned Parenthood, and I'll leave you with one last to consider.

"A dead thing can go with the stream, but only a living thing can go against it." -- G.K. Chesterton
 

If you've read this far, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I know that God is with my family in this fight, though I do wish more than a few parents (among other individuals) were as outraged as I am. We continue to swim against the stream, though it does seem to be a very lonely crusade. I am so deeply disappointed in my brothers and sisters who are Catholic, yet are clearly CINO. I don't expect the secularists to 'get it,' but when our fellow Catholics miss the boat...

An advertisement on a bench for Planned Parenthood in Vermont
"We're your sexual fantasy - A discreet environment for open-minded questions and answers."

P.S.
*And the former three-part series on parental priorities will actually be a four-part series. Stay tuned.
Part One is HERE, Part Two is HERE

Edited to add: I found this quote posted online. Bishop Mansell was our previous Bishop in the DOB and he put a stop to building of a $4.6 million senior home when the Diocese found out the same builder was building a Planned Parenthood facility.

Most Reverend Henry J. MansellBishop of Buffalo, New York

13 August 2000

"We're not proceeding, because of the contractor's involvement with Planned Parenthood," said Monsignor Henry J. Gugino, head of housing development for the Catholic Diocese of Buffalo, New York. The comment was made as the diocese, at the direction of its bishop, halted construction on a $4.6 million dollar home for seniors in Wheatfield, N.Y., when it found out the contractor was also building offices for Planned Parenthood. Bishop Henry J. Mansell's spokesman, Monsignor David M. Lee, said the bishop and other diocesan officials decided to put the project on hold because of "moral concerns." --SOURCE

March 9, 2012: Special thanks to ProLifeAmerica.com for sharing this post in their ProLife Daily newsfeed.
March 13, 2012: The letter to the editor was published last weekend. Find it HERE. Today is the big day for the Youth Leadership Conference. All are in our prayers. I was able to obtain a description of the program to be presented by Planned Parenthood. The Youth Bureau continued to insist that no representative of Planned Parenthood was making a presentation and they lied. It is right there in their program. They failed to identify the Planned Parenthood employee, thus continuing to pile on the lies. I chose to omit the name of the presenter. I believe that the enemy is the organization, not the people working for it.

Breaking Out of the Box: Are Some "Rules" Made to be Broken?
PRESENTER: T______ A_______

Our society has so many rules for what it means to be a guy or a girl. Music, television, magazines, parents, friends, and even toys give us messages about how we're supposed to act based on our gender! In this workshop, we're going to look at what it means to be a guy or a girl in this culture, what our society TELLS us we're supposed to be, and how assumptions about gender can lead to harassment and relationship violence. This interactive presentation will get you talking, thinking and decoding the real messages you see and hear every day about gender and relationships.

Those darn parents - making rules. Goodness knows what poor Johnny will have to endure if he wasn't given Barbie dolls to play with alongside his blocks. 

For our family, it didn't matter whether Planned Parenthood was going to make a presentation or not. It was simply offensive to have them listed as a sponsor. I suppose that I'm left to question why the Director of Planned Parenthood is on the board at the Youth Bureau. This was their excuse for having Planned Parenthood listed as a sponsor. By the way, the presenter at the conference (she specializes in Rape Crisis Counseling at PP) lists V-Day as one of her affiliations. The Rochester V-Day will be marked by the performances of The Vagina Monologues, a Drag Show, and BRAWL (Broads Regional Arm Wrestling League) - all in the name of ending violence against women. They objectify women and expect to not become objects.  Case in point, these suckers which were sold at an event last year.

Perhaps you are avoiding chocolate during Lent. You can always go to the V-Day website and purchase a vagina ring or necklace. I'm not kidding. I'll spare you the picture - you can click here to see if you're curious. Maybe a vagina warrior knit cap is more to your liking. Any man wearing that would clearly see women for more than their private parts, right?  Of course I'm being sarcastic. The absurdity, lies, and double-talk must be exposed for what it is. I am a woman and I want to be identified as a person made in God's image, with a soul, a mind of my own, interests, pet peeves, and a personality; not by my reproductive organs. And these people want to sponsor a youth conference? Remember - they're only interest is women's health care. Or so they would like you to think.

Vagina shaped suckers being sold with the stated intention of stopping violence against women.
Sure - objectify them, and then teach people to eat female genitalia. Makes sense - to someone I guess.
Picture from their Facebook page

Would you like to hear some good news that has come out of this?  
I was just contacted by another parent and due to a whole lot of research and accumulation of evidence, OUR SCHOOL WILL NEVER AGAIN PARTICIPATE IN THE CONFERENCE. The lies on behalf of the Youth Bureau and/or Planned Parenthood were uncovered.  The moral of the story: whenever you see or hear that Planned Parenthood is sponsoring or presenting anything, run in the other direction and make the biggest noise you can until you get people to listen.  Thanks be to God!
Updated 2/2014: Wait! The good news was only good for one year! It is back!

dear Planned Parenthood, Bring it On!

http://i--have--a--say.blogspot.com/



This next video is NOT to be viewed by children. It is an offensive expose of material propagated by PP:



By the numbers as reported by Planned Parenthood themselves:

• 11% of PP's 'healthcare clients' receive abortion services (they shout from the rooftops that 3% of their services are abortions. They justify this because they pad their numbers by including services to the community that are not healthcare services. If they offer a presentation for 1,000 people, they count them as being served. Only when they provide their 'healthcare' service numbers do we see the truth. Nearly 1 out of 10 healthcare visits end in abortion.)
• Number of clients receiving 'healthcare' at PP clinics: 2,900,000
• Amount of federal tax money given to PP last year: $487,000,000
• Number of adoption referrals in 2010: 841
• Number of mammograms performed by PP annually: 0

"Guilty? Yes. No matter what the motive, love of ease, or a desire to save from suffering the unborn innocent, the woman is awfully guilty who commits the deed. It will burden her conscience in life, it will burden her soul in death; But oh, thrice guilty is he who drove her to the desperation which impelled her to the crime!"--Susan B. Anthony on abortion. The Revolution, 1869. 

On Parental Priorities: God or Secularism

In my previous entry, I pondered parental priorities (say that five times fast) and discussed a relatively new creature: The Event Planner. In the past, parents like that were considered child abusers. Consider infamous stage mothers of Hollywood screen legends, for example. Or when an Olympian wearing gold medals would share in a television interview how many months they would train away from families and friends, year after year. Their childhood was non-existent and we were all saddened by the way they were dragged from one training facility to another. Now we are surrounded by Event Planners, and many of us watch television shows highlighting this new phenomenon. The situation of making secular pursuits a priority has grown to epic proportions. Not only can you strip the childhood out of your child, but you can pay a lot of money to have cable television programs reinforce the idea! On the rare occasion when the whole family is together, you all can gather around the television and watch extreme cases of Event Planners that make your family look like the Cleavers. Mmm... popcorn time!

Our society now finds it entertaining to watch parents apply wigs, false teeth, makeup, and evening gowns on little girls so that they can prance around on stage looking like streetwalkers. How about the show featuring small children who are fire and brimstone preachers? A four year old boy mimics his Pentecostal preacher father, and with a microphone in one hand, wipes his brow with a handkerchief in the other. He hops around stage in a suit, shouting into a microphone, as the congregation shouts back to him, "Alleluia! Yes!" The boy makes appearances around the country on news programs and is a big hit on YouTube. He supposedly has the makings of a prophet, so this can't possibly be the same thing... right? There is also a reality show about children with so-called "psychic abilities." Children offer vague descriptions about unseen entities and this is entertainment? The only difference I see between a parent who has each of their children enrolled in 20+ hours a week of extracurricular activities and these reality show superstars, is their choice of activity. Time for cooked meals together at home, prayers and devotions, and quiet time cannot exist if a parent chooses to be an  event planner instead of a parent.

Consider the acronym EGO, or Edging God Out. That is exactly what we are allowing to happen when we let our priorities become tangled in a secular world. I honestly believe that all parents try their absolute best be good parents. Try as they might, more and more of us are failing our children as we slowly edge God out of our lives. Most of us do not set out to push God aside, but sadly that is where He is placed each and every day. Enough about what we have failed to do or have done wrong. Let's look at a new beginning and suggestions on where to start.

1. God is first. By making God your first priority, everything else will follow in your life. Your children cannot come first. If they do, you are making them a god. Put God first. If you are married, your marriage must come second, with God placed at the center of the marriage. Your marriage should be a trinity: God + Wife + Husband, with love binding all three. Children should be our third priority. By making God the first, your marriage the second, and your children the third priority, you will be a much happier person and your entire family will be better for it. Secularism tells us that our children come first before anything. By displacing God, you are failing your children. How do you put God first if you have cast Him aside? After making a good confession, consult God on everything you question in your life. A simple "God, help me!" will do and listen with your heart. Learn the difference between what you want to do and what God wants you to do. He always answers prayers, but not always how we would have hoped. You will fall, but thankfully God is patient.
2. Cut the noise. Instant gratification rules our days and if you have put suggestion number one into place, you are looking for ways to cut out the distractions in your life. Ask yourself the following questions. The answers may vary by due to work, health issues and other situations unique to each family:
1. How many cellphones do you need in your family? Do you need them at all? If you need them, do they need to be on at home? 
2. Does texting replace conversations that could take place over the phone or better yet, in person? Do family members text only out of necessity? If teens are texting, can they invite friends over to the house and socialize in person instead?
3. Do you really need the television? Cable and satellite bills are very high and the quality of television programming is very low. What would happen to your life if you cut the cord? Do you think you would survive without watching the big game or watching the news ticker? Don't worry about how the family would fill the time. Families have lived without television since creation and have managed quite well. Netflix (only $7.99/month) and a DVD player allow for family entertainment but put you in charge of what material is allowed into your home. 
4. Do you have "God time" programmed into your day other than bedtime prayers? Do you attend parish-sponsored devotions as a family? 
5. Do you make it a priority to have a set number of meals together as a family as frequently as possible? Are there activities or distractions that are unimportant standing in the way of family meal time? Is the phone turned off during meal time? Does every family member have an opportunity to share and discuss their day?
6. Is time spent playing video games and on the computer limited for adults and children? Does your family sit around with varying electronic devices in the evening, ignoring one another? Does time spent on all electronic devices get in the way of "God time" and family time?
7. Does your family spend time outdoors exploring God's creation? Is outdoor time mostly spent traveling from one activity to another and on the sidelines at games? 
3. Be a parent. Being a friend to your child can come after they leave your home. While they remain in your care, they need a parent who puts God first. Don't be afraid to say no. Children need boundaries, though they may not always agree. Just because all of the kids are "doing it" doesn't mean that a parent who puts God first would let their children "do it" - no matter what the "it" is. Having a "boyfriend" at eleven years old may seem cute and harmless to many. If you consider for a moment that dating and having boyfriends as being a preparation for marriage, maybe they would reconsider. Parenting is not a popularity contest. If you want to be popular, you've clearly not put God first.
4. Educate your children. Don't blame the school or religious education program if your child doesn't know what you think he or she should know. Blame yourself instead! I'm not proposing homeschooling your children, but if you are up to the challenge, certainly consider the option. If you are Catholic, send your kids to a Catholic school. Can't afford it? Don't kid yourself. If you put God first, all of the material goods have been removed from their place of worship. Offer to volunteer at the school, and plead with the principal and Parish Pastor for assistance. Eat home more. Drive older cars. Make your coffee at home. Live within your means. Make sacrifices to send your kids to Catholic school. If there is no Catholic school in your area, find a private school that reinforces your family values. No school is perfect, but if you put God first, why would you send your kids to an institution that forbids even the mere mention of God?

I did not include my note on education last because it is least important. To the contrary, it was the topic of education that prompted me to make these entries on parental priorities. You see, our little Catholic school that has existed for 130 years is teetering on the brink of closing. The reasons for this situation are numerous, but I believe the main reason behind it is the failure of many parents to put God first. More on that in my next and final entry in the three-part series. 

On Parental Priorities: The Event Planner

If you were to ask parents what their number one priority in life is, all would answer "my children." Who would admit to anything else? If you were to ask those same parents what hopes they have for their children, they would include health, success (whatever that means), and happiness, among other things. Parents can sometimes have peculiar ways of attempting to secure those hopes for their children.

Is it just me or is there peer-pressure among parents to have every child involved in year-round sports, travel leagues in addition to local teams, spend countless hours per week learning karate, dance or another activity every week? I suspect this is because the parents are concerned about their children becoming couch potatoes. Are the kids or families any better because of it? Some kids who are bounced from one activity to another on a daily basis seem to enjoy life and have fun doing what they do. Other kids offer a vacant stare when I casually ask them if they are enjoying their 20+ hours per week in extracurricular pursuits. I almost asked a parent whose sole focus seemed to be on their disrespectful son's sporting prowess if they realized he was more likely to be hit by lightning than be a professional athlete. Thankfully, I held my tongue.

Now I will offer a quasi-fictional scenario based upon several encounters with other parents and their children. 

"Mary, did you have fun at your piano lesson and jazz dance class this morning?"

"Yeah, they were okay."

"Maybe you can play piano for us later and show us what you've learned. It's been a long time since I've played the piano. You can probably teach me a thing or two!"

"I'm sorry, Mrs. H. After lunch Mom is picking me up because I have an indoor soccer tournament from three o'clock until nine."

"Oh, well maybe you can come over tomorrow and hang out with Suzie after church. She's been wanting to show you the bracelet kit she got for Christmas."

"I'll have to ask my mom. I don't know if I'll have time because I have a riding lesson sometime in the afternoon, I think. Maybe we can have a sleepover next weekend because it's a long weekend and Suzie can spend the night on Sunday! Is that okay?"

"I'll talk to your mom about it when she gets here. Sounds good to me!"

After lunch, Mary's mom arrives to pick her up and thanks me. Then she asks, "What is Johnny going to do now that baseball is over?"

"Well, he's pretty busy with school activities and is in Boy Scouts. He'll be busy enough until Basketball season comes along." I consider my sudden impulse to run out and sign Johnny up for several activities in order to fill in perceived blank spots in our planner. Then I reconsider.

With a puzzled look, she offers a polite smile and presses Mary to gather her things so that they won't be late to the soccer tournament. On their way out door, Mary asks if she and Suzie can have a sleep over next Sunday. Her mom said, "We'll see. I have to get your brother to indoor lacrosse sign-ups on the way home from karate and have no idea how long that is going to take." With a wave and a "Thanks again!" they're out of the driveway and off to their next event.

I was a kid in the 1970's and of course our parents considered us to be their number one priority just as parents do today.  There was also something more, something beyond the fact that just a generation or two ago "kids could be kids." What is missing today? Is it because most households have both parents working outside of the home? Do you think it may be because God is non-existent in most households today? Are parents trying to compensate their children out of guilt? Is it a competition to out-do other parents? Do they honestly think that Johnny and Suzie will be better because they had a childhood with no idle moments?

My next entry will continue to look at parental priorities and in particular, secular influences on them.

*Part Two is HERE and Part Three is HERE.

On Blood Pressure, Edmund Burke and the Domestic Church

This blog entry has been ruminating for a few weeks now and was delayed until my blood pressure finally recovered to within a normal range.  Actually, I never took my blood pressure, and for all I know it never ventured into the danger zone.  I can tell you that I lost a lot of sleep and my left eye twitched with such frequency that the crow's feet are more deeply defined on one side of my face.  All due to the 'mama bear' reflex gone into overdrive.  If you have no idea what I'm talking about, just know that to 'mess with' me or my faith, I can calmly re-educate you. Mess with my kid... watch out for Mama Bear!

Knowing that our regular readers are just as passionate about certain sensitive topics as I am, I thought I'd update you on a topic I brushed upon HERE in an earlier entry.  From that post:

Our son who is in 7th grade came home with a permission slip for us to sign last night.  It was for a seminar to be held at our local community college this month with the main theme of tackling bullying.  The program is only for junior high students from all of the local schools and seems quite benign.  He shared that they will have a speaker and then can choose different programs to attend.  Then I found at the bottom a list of sponsors of the 2011 conference - YMCA, our local drug and alcohol abuse council, the college, other similar community organizations and at the tail end of the list was  PLANNED PARENTHOOD.  My reaction was not very contained when I read it and thankfully our son looked at me knowingly and asked, "What?  You saw Planned Parenthood is on the form?"  This was just last night and for fear of losing your interest so soon, I'll cut the details and get to the bottom line.  By 8 a.m. I already had e-mailed the school principal with my concerns and sent Alex to school without the permission slip and written a letter to the editor of the local paper. 

I was assured that Planned Parenthood was not to have any information distributed (or condoms?) to our children  and they were not making any presentations.  Were we going to be sending our son to something where Planned Parenthood was listed as a sponsor?  We could not in good conscience send him.  There were no pros to the situation no matter how deeply we looked.  Between spasms overwhelming my eyelid, I desperately tried to figure out which was becoming more upsetting to me:  Was it that Planned Parenthood was involved in this project for our children or that no other parent or adult in charge was upset about Planned Parenthood's involvement?  The more I thought about it, the more agitated I became.  I had become a three-eyed alien furious with an event that left other people looking bored to death.  There was this huge, white elephant in the room and I was the only one (beside my husband) who saw that it was about to devour our children.

Taking the lemons I was served, we made the best out of the awkwardly quiet situation.  Our parish was to celebrate the start of a 40-hours devotion on that very day.  It just so happened that my Bible study group also was to meet that day.  The day of the youth conference, our son and I had an amazingly blessed day.  We started with attending Mass that morning and then went to Bible study for two hours.  From Bible study, we went to adoration where we had signed up for a holy hour before the Blessed Sacrament.  Not knowing if he would be up to an entire hour after our long morning, I told our son that if he wanted to leave the church earlier, he could just go step outside and wait for me.  I lost track of time and being without a watch, I realized that much more than an hour must have passed.  I turned to leave to find him and there he was, still kneeling in a pew in the back.  He smiled and I looked at his watch - we'd been there in prayer for well over one hour and thirty minutes.  We walked out and I asked him how his time with the Lord was.  He looked at me with a huge smile on his face and he said, "Mom, this is the best day I have had in a long time."  Wow.   God is great!  And to think of the alternative programming option for the day...

My letter to the editor did not make it into the paper that day, but it was printed the following day.  Our local online news website covered the youth conference and included pictures.  They acknowledged various supporters of the event and clearly absent was the mention of Planned Parenthood.  I noted that in a comment to the author of the article and he replied to my comments noting that indeed Planned Parenthood was involved, and in fact, one of their "educators" had led a presentation that was offered to the children.  What was the topic?  Named after the quote often attributed to Edmund Burke,  the 18th century philosopher, "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." Please forgive my repetitive nature, but I must point out the searingly ironic information again:  Planned Parenthood taught seventh and eighth graders about GOOD AND EVIL?!  If the bold print and capital letters do not convey the image of me to your mind's eye when I first read that information, please picture a 40-something woman with a twitchy eye, head spinning and green slime flying out of her eyes and mouth.  Too vivid?  You have no idea how understated the description is.

Our son came home from school and shared that his classmates all told him that Planned Parenthood wasn't even there - he stayed home for a complete waste of time.  He had missed a lot of fun at the youth conference and a free lunch.  At this point, it had become clear that many, many adults must have been abducted by aliens and had their brains replaced with something, well, alien.  All common sense, obligation to the Domestic Church and commitment to a good quality education for our children thrown to the nearest metallic disc flying through the sky.  I would offer to give them a clue but reconsidered knowing that I had played court jester long enough and made my viewpoint amply clear.  And their viewpoint had been sadly made loud and clear - to me at least.

"The most merciful thing that a family does to one of its infant members is to kill it."    --Margaret Sanger

Children: Begotten, Not Made

Over the past week, I have been strongly conflicted while reading the book Inconceivable.  It is about a Catholic couple who struggled with secondary fertility issues since their first child was born and turned to science in order that they may have more children.  Since men are fallible, a medical error resulted in the mother's pregnancy with a child who was not genetically hers.

On one hand, I was deeply saddened while reading what Carolyn and Sean Savage went through.  Their pain from having dreams of a large family dashed could not prepare them for the pain that was yet to come.  Carrying a child and subsequently falling in love with the boy, all while knowing that the child was to go to his genetic parents upon delivery is for most of us unimaginable.  On top of this, Carolyn had health complications and was putting herself at risk by carrying this child and giving him the gift of life.  As Carolyn noted in the book, she could legally kill the child through abortion, yet would have to give the child to his biological parents upon birth if she chose in favor of life.  Though I personally have not and would never  choose to use In Vitro Fertilization to expand my family, I can feel so much pain while reading the words of both Sean and Carolyn.  They desperately longed to do what was right for their family.  Their plans for a large family resulted in two healthy sons and two miscarriages before they decided to choose IVF to offer them hope for a larger family.  They are blessed to have a daughter who was conceived through IVF and in an attempt to further add to their family, once again underwent the implantation of three lives - embryos -which had been preserved frozen at a fertility clinic.  This is where the real nightmare began.

On the other hand, and this is where the conflict rises, they knew what the Church teaches about IVF and decided that the Church was wrong and that they were right.  They perceived a certain 'discrimination' against people who could no physically get pregnant without resorting to IVF procedures.  A look at Sacred Scripture shows that Carolyn and Sean were not alone in their longing for children.  There are perhaps dozens of instances of infertile couples struggling emotionally in the Bible.

In the Old Testament Elkanah says to his wife who was unable to conceive, "Hannah, why do you weep? And why do you not eat? And why is your heart so sad? Am I not more to you than ten sons?" Of course Elkanah's wife loved him, but she wanted to bear their child. Source

I do not wish to hurt the Savages any more than they have been hurt.  It is they who put this story into a book and over the air waves into our living rooms, so I do feel I have some sort of implicit permission to give my own perspective on their deeply personal story.

It is my hope that they will read these comments and take them with the love and concern they are intended:

• Children are begotten, not made. 
• Gifts are to be freely given and accepted - but never forced.  
• You are deeply in love with a boy who is not genetically yours, and could have been as well with an adopted child.  
• The Church does not discriminate against you because of your infertility; to the contrary her members want to help you carry the burden of the cross.
• You made an extreme error in judgement just as everyone does.  Begin anew and put aside your anger with Church teaching. Prayerfully discern why the Church says that IVF is morally unacceptable.
• Isaac was the only son for Abraham and Sarah, yet through his obedience, Abraham was willing to sacrifice his only son for God. 
• Put yourself at the foot of the cross during this Lenten season and consider Mary, with her only beloved Son, knowing that he was destined to die upon a cross in order that all of humanity may be saved.  She too carried a child knowing heartbreak would be inevitable.
• Further encouragement of others to seek IVF not only leads yourself to further separation from God through mortal sin, it also brings others to the same destination. 
• Having children through 'any means necessary' serves yourself and your needs, disregarding God's will
• Gestational Carrier is a horrid term and one the Savages used when they decided to have their remaining embryos transferred to another woman in further efforts to expand their family.
• We all sin and sometimes it is with the best of intentions.  If we are off the mark according to Church teaching, it is best to further investigate where we are wrong - not the Church.
• Catechism of the Catholic Church: 2378 A child is not something owed to one, but is a gift. The "supreme gift of marriage" is a human person. A child may not be considered a piece of property, an idea to which an alleged "right to a child" would lead. In this area, only the child possesses genuine rights: the right "to be the fruit of the specific act of the conjugal love of his parents," and "the right to be respected as a person from the moment of his conception."

EDITED 3-31-11:  A link to this blog entry was posted on the Savage's Facebook page and a storm followed.  I temporarily removed the previous bullet points, but after having read and re-read the comments made by Mrs. Savage and others, have since returned them where they were initially. There is no delicate way to tell someone that they did something wrong and to suggest alternatives.  Certainly that is the case where someone has been through difficult trauma such as Mrs. Savage experienced.  One additional note:  If a priest comments that he does not support the Church's position on IVF, one should not feel justified as many a priest has also supported gay marriage, artificial contraception, fornication, female ordination and numerous other topics against Church teaching.  No one has stated that a child brought into the world via IVF is any less precious than any other child.  It is not the child, but the means that the parents used to become pregnant that is a serious matter.  Does that mean you think a child born out of wedlock is somehow inferior?  Nonsense.  Please read the information contained in the links at the end of the entry as I have added more.

From their Facebook page (not including comments made by other individuals though some are quite interesting): 

 "It is articles like this that leave me shaking in my chair. Off to take a deep breath and say a prayer for guidance. C"

"I know...it just hurts. I feel like the doctrine is so shortsighted and discriminatory. And, I can't count the number of priests who have whispered to us...."I don't really agree w/the church on this issue!", but are so deathly afraid to speak up and urge the hierachy to reconsider. C"

"[facebook fan], So sorry this upset you so! I just keep torchering myself and rereading it. My goodness, to say that we should have adopted....to say that she would never personally choose IVF...I find it so interesting when people are quick to say what they would or wouldn't do when they have never been in a certain situation. It seems so arrogant."

"I love my church. My next blog post is about my relationship with our parish. A few Sundays ago I sat in my pew and admired all of the families that had gathered for worship. Funny thing about it was...there were many there that have IVF children. They've just never been publicly 'outed' (or chastized). It's really, really hard to reconcile right now. C"

"Interesting thing about the [Catholic Ponderings] author. I think if the church changed it's mind, she'd change her mind. She is a devoted follower. I'm not always a fan of devoted "followers". Instead, I love to read articles, blogs, and published works written by "inspired ponderers". Critical thought, prayerful reflection and the recognition of the dangers of arrogance are probably a more accurate reflection of Jesus' loving approach to mankind. I often wonder what Jesus would say about the Church of our world. My guess is, he'd be shaking his head in disappointment. C"

Inconceivable was, as mentioned, a difficult read.  It was well-crafted, alternating between Sean's perspective and that of Carolyn's, seamlessly taking you through a very painful time in their lives.  I was brought to tears over and over as the waves of painful news mounted against this loving couple who were trying to cope with unimaginable circumstances. A little boy and a family were blessed with life and yet another family was left to cope with incredible emptiness and despair at what they had hoped could have been.  +

*To read more about the Savage family or to order the book, visit their website HERE.  

_________________

For further information on Church teaching in regard to infertility treatments and IVF consult the following:

In Vitro Fertilization: Ethical Implications and Alternatives 

Catechism of the Catholic Church

In Vitro Fertilization and Reproductive Technology - USCCB

Embryo and Fetal Research - USCCB

Technology to assist infertile Catholic couples consistent with Church teaching - USCCB

What you need to know if you are struggling with infertility

Infertility: Terms you need to know

Quick Questions on IVF answered

Dignitas Personae

IVF and the Catholic Couple

The Multiple Injustices of IVF

NaPro Technology:  Moral and Better than IVF

In Virto Fertilization and the Hermeneutic of the Gift  by Christopher West

U.K. article: New fertility legislation will make it illegal to use embryos with a known genetic abnormality in IVF treatment

Read THIS powerful story. Yet another situation where a family is changed forever due to an IVF implantation.  This time, the mother was implanted with three fertilized eggs and found herself pregnant with triplets. Read this agonizing tale as told by the father, sharing what it was like to watch his children die in utero on a monitor after his wife insisted on aborting two of the children. 

URGENT: American Catholics Must Unite

Action is also needed to protect our families and children around the world.  Please visit the Catholic Families and Human Rights Instituted (C-Fam) website and sign their Statement of Youth to the UN and the World .

Summer means Camp Turner

I once told a parent about Camp Turner and that our son would be going in case her child was interested and wanted to see a familiar face there. She thought it sounded wonderful, but it was just too far to drive. Too far to drive? I just smiled because there really was nothing I could say to her (without regretting it).

 

Camp Turner is operated by the Youth Department of the Diocese of Buffalo and is located with in the confines of beautiful and expansive Allegany State Park. Our son, turning twelve in a few short weeks, has attended camp there since he was eight years old. We have taken him there for both winter and summer sessions fully understanding that the drive there (almost two hours from our home and in winter a dicey drive as it is located in the snow belt) was an investment in our son's future.

What kids like about Camp Turner:

• The camp counselors are awesome
• The food is amazingly good and there is never a possibility of going hungry
• The canteen
• Crayfish hunts, funny camp shenanigans, clubs so kids can choose an area of interest to concentrate on
• They can get e-mails from home everyday at mail time
• Horses, archery, mountain hikes, creek walks
• Meeting new friends and seeing some of the same faces year after year

What parents like about Camp Turner:

• Camp counselors are awesome!
• Mass is celebrated once a week at camp
• Prayer is an important part of the day - morning, meal times, evening and other times as well
• Even picky eaters will find something they love to eat.  Meals are like home cooking and at every meal cereal, peanut butter and jelly and a very nice salad bar is available.  Last summer I spotted seafood salad on the salad bar!
• No video games, no iPods, no computers!
• Kids have a wide variety of activities to try out
• The camp mission statement: "Honor God in the Children Confided to Your Care."
• The beautiful drive
• Parents can view pictures from camp daily online and send an e-mail to the child
• Kids are happy to go and stories of adventure unravel for weeks afterward
• Children get used to staying away from home without Mom and Dad (good prep for college!)
• Did I mention awesome camp counselors?  One young man has been the cabin counselor for years and when our son was a bit homesick one night, he let him stay up late and the two of them played cards and talked until our son was ready to go to sleep.   

I have no stake in Camp Turner, receive nothing for promoting it and pay full camp fees.  I mention it because it is a great place for kids where parents can leave knowing that the children will be given the greatest amount of respect and kept safe while there.  If you do not have children but live in the region, I suggest you support Camp Turner either financially or consider working there over the summer.  Perhaps the most you are able to do is spread the word to others who may be interested and pray for Camp Turner and those who operate it.  Anything you can do is appreciated.  Many parishes sponsor children who cannot afford to go to camp and Camp Turner welcomes children from all backgrounds regardless of religious affiliation.  Children do not need to live within the Diocese of Buffalo in order to attend.

Camp Turner is having an open house for those unfamiliar with it on July 3rd from noon - 4 pm.  Check out their website for camp pictures, registration information, a camp brochure and employment opportunities HERE. 

If you have any questions about Camp Turner that perhaps a mom can answer, please leave a comment for me and I'll get in touch with you. 

The Passion of the Lord - in LEGO!

Created by 14 and 16 year old brothers. Thanks to Faith and Family Magazine blog for the heads-up. Outstanding job, boys!

The Horror of Child Warriors in the Congo

In the mineral-rich Congo region of Africa, children as young as ten years old have been kidnapped, tortured, raped, drugged and forced into a senseless ethnic war for years. In recent weeks, hundreds of these children have returned to their homes broken and brainwashed, often rejected by their own families.

Following the atrocities in Rwanda, those who took part in the slaughter sought refuge in the Democratic Republic of the Congo. The methods of murder which left a world stunned in Rwanda were evident just months ago as reported in a Catholic News Service story released in December 2008:

Sister Marie-Bernard told Catholic News Service Dec. 29 that 50 bodies were found in the courtyard of a Catholic church in Doruma Christmas morning.

The Lord's Resistance Army, a Ugandan rebel group, has been blamed for the church massacre as well as continued tensions in northeastern Congo. In early December, Ugandan, Congolese and southern Sudanese forces launched an offensive on the group.

Sister Marie-Bernard said the local justice and peace commission currently is taking scores of people to the local hospital.

"There are many people who were wounded by machete in the attacks; several people suffered amputations. The priority of the justice and peace workers is to ensure that these people now receive medical attention," she said.

"The situation in the Doruma and Faradje region grew very violent" in late December and "several civilians were killed in surrounding villages during these days -- around 200 bodies were found," she said.

The United Nations peacekeeping mission in Congo, known as MONUC, deplored the violence in the region. MONUC called on the Congolese army to intervene in a way that "respects humanitarian law and with care to avoid reprisals against the civilian population."

Caritas Congo reported Dec. 29 that during the Christmastime violence 20 children were abducted as child soldiers for the Lord's Resistance Army. Caritas Congo is the local affiliate of the international Catholic umbrella group Caritas Internationalis.

Caritas said 400 people, including two priests, were killed in the violence.

A Catholic church in Duru was burned to the ground and 6,500 people took refuge in another Catholic church in the Doruma region, Caritas said.

Generations of DR Congonese dare not imagine a life without violence and suffering. The nation should be a land of 'milk and honey' due to the natural resources yet malnutrition, murder, rape and vast poverty have been a fact of life for so many. Caritas Internationalis is among several Catholic agencies providing aid to the area and UNICEF has pleaded to have all child soldiers released.

From UNICEF:



What has the world done for the least of these? Obviously not enough. To learn more on what you can do to help, follow the links to Catholic Relief Services in DR of Congo and Caritas Internationalis.

African Catholics like Martin Mande are making a difference in the lives of the former child soldiers and their families. Mr. Mande is a member of the Xaveri Movement in Africa, named after St. Francis Xavier and has devoted his life to the ministry of helping children in the region where he serves as Pastoral Associate in his parish. As a refugee and migrant activist, Mr. Mande is one face among many who knows the difficulties faced by the former child soldiers. Please keep the children of the DR of Congo and those who help them in your prayers. Support these groups financially as you are able and listen to God's call - perhaps you are being called to a mission to help the Congonese or another needy population.