Thursday, June 14, 2012

You Know You're a CINO When...

Everyone knows at least one, and most of us are related to some. People who identify themselves as being Catholic, but everything they do and say contradicts the identity. In the past, they've been know as 'Cafeteria Catholics' - picking and choosing which parts of the faith they want to follow, discarding what they find to be undesirable for one reason or another. I prefer to use the term CINO, or Catholic In Name Only. There are many lists on the internet that make us all laugh because we identify with them. One list I've come across many times in varying forms is a 'You Know You're Catholic When...' and they include things like: You know you're Catholic when... you watch Star Wars and want to say "and also with you" when a character says, "May the force be with you." I've come up with a list just for CINOs. We've all been frustrated by CINOs, and many 'Catholic' politicians remind us daily that just because someone says they're Catholic, well - you finish the sentence. Feel free to add your own via comments and I'll post them for you. Not in any particular order:

You know you’re a CINO when…

  • You think the rosary your grandmother gave you is a piece of jewelry
  • You think a guardian angel is that thing pinned to your car visor
  • You look forward to Easter because you know it means you’ll have days off of school or work
  • You think the Holy Trinity is bell pepper, onion, and celery
  • You hear the word Godfather and immediately think of the mafia
  • You rarely attend Mass, but when you decide to get married, you insist upon a Catholic wedding
  • You skip Mass during hunting season or take the summer off
  • After your Catholic wedding, you stop attending Mass only to hop back into the pew when you have a child - just before Baptism.
  • You get around to having your child baptized as a toddler because you've been just too busy
  • You sign your kids up for CCD classes at First Communion time, and then don’t make them go again until it is time for Confirmation
  • You loved your Catholic school education and have fond memories of the school, but send your kids to the local public school instead. You can't afford the tuition after your Disney vacations, three car payments, trip to Aruba, and the new addition on the house.
  • You finally make it to Mass on a rare occasion and still don’t know when to stand, sit, or kneel even though you've been Catholic your entire life
  • You think Catholics don’t go to confession anymore
  • You read the church bulletin during Mass
  • You only attend the Mass with the priest that gives the shortest homily and can get you out on a Sunday in about a half hour
  • You think no one prays the Rosary anymore
  • You think that abortion is acceptable in certain cases
  • You give your children bags of potato chips and electronic games to keep them busy during Mass
  • You are annoyed to find out there is going to be a Baptism at Mass and it will delay your exit
  • You leave the Mass right after receiving Communion
  • You know where the Church is wrong and you are right
  • You see a large family in church and think that the parents are clearly insane for having so many children or cannot control themselves
  • You don’t know the difference between the Nicene and Apostles’ creeds
  • You hope that someday women will be allowed to be ordained
  • You genuflect before entering the pew in church, but have no idea why
  • You answer your cellphone during Mass and/or send text messages
  • While on vacation, you take a vacation from attending Mass
  • You let your children decide whether or not they want to attend Mass and/or CCD class
  • You decide to no longer go to church because you were angered by something a Priest, Sister, Brother, fellow parishioner, CCD teacher, Catholic school principal/teacher said/did/forgot to do/ate/wrote, etc.
  • You stopped going to Mass because you found it boring and/or the choir was uninspiring
  • You think your political decisions don't have to agree with Catholic beliefs because not everyone is Catholic

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