The Accidental Marriage by Roger B. Thomas - Book Review

I was intrigued when I read the description of the new novel published by Ignatius Press, The Accidental Marriage. How would a Catholic publisher cover the subject matter of a man living an actively gay lifestyle, fathering the child of a woman living with her lesbian lover, and they end up raising the child together? I often remarked to my husband that this was going to be a difficult book to review as I read it. Difficult not because the book wasn't a good one, but due to the complexity of the subject matter. I was hoping that the novel wouldn't be heavy-handed on either end of the spectrum of this controversial topic, and I was not disappointed. 

Scott and Megan are friends who enjoy lunch together on occasion. During one of their visits, Megan mentions that her partner wants Megan to have a baby. Scott offers to father a child for the couple and not long after she becomes pregnant, the relationship between Megan and her partner ends. Scott does what comes naturally to him and takes Megan in, marrying her so that she would have medical coverage during the pregnancy. The struggle for each of them to maintain emotional boundaries is palpable. Each of them are so immersed in their sexual lifestyle and identity, they bristle against obvious natural consequences from the situation they've found themselves in. 

There were no preachy moments in the book. It is neither pro, nor anti-gay. The characters are well-developed and likable. I found myself cheering for them, feeling a parental urge to hug them and tell them it would all work out okay in the end. Certainly each of us have struggled with identity, fought against what we knew we longed for and needed. Scott and Megan are no exception.

If you are interested in a book club study/discussion guide for this book, there is one available HERE. 

I give The Accidental Marriage 4 out of 5 stars. 

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The Catechism of the Catholic Church on homosexuality:

2357 Homosexuality refers to relations between men or between women who experience an exclusive or predominant sexual attraction toward persons of the same sex. It has taken a great variety of forms through the centuries and in different cultures. Its psychological genesis remains largely unexplained. Basing itself on Sacred Scripture, which presents homosexual acts as acts of grave depravity, tradition has always declared that "homosexual acts are intrinsically disordered."They are contrary to the natural law. They close the sexual act to the gift of life. They do not proceed from a genuine affective and sexual complementarity. Under no circumstances can they be approved.
2358 The number of men and women who have deep-seated homosexual tendencies is not negligible. This inclination, which is objectively disordered, constitutes for most of them a trial. They must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided. These persons are called to fulfill God's will in their lives and, if they are Christians, to unite to the sacrifice of the Lord's Cross the difficulties they may encounter from their condition.
2359 Homosexual persons are called to chastity. By the virtues of self-mastery that teach them inner freedom, at times by the support of disinterested friendship, by prayer and sacramental grace, they can and should gradually and resolutely approach Christian perfection.

United States Conference of Catholic Bishops statements on homosexuality are HERE. 

Catholic Answers Tract on homosexuality is HERE. 

Pope Francis stated that same-sex marriage is 'anthropological regression' HERE. 

Cardinal Bergoglio (now Pope Francis) on same-sex marriage HERE. 

  

My Pope, Our Pope, the Sinner

2013-09-21, Vatican Radio

As a lay observer, I decided to use bullet points to share my interpretation of Pope Francis' recent remarks in the interviews documented by America Magazine. The mainstream media has a practice of quoting everything the Holy Father says with the accuracy of a telephone game. Here is what I gleaned from the interview:

Pope Francis:

• sees himself as a sinner who was chosen by God.
• chose not to live in the papal apartment because he prefers community life.
• takes his prayerful time when making a decision.
• is irritated when people say that Ignatian spiritual exercises are Ignatian because they are done in silence. They can be done with or without silence. 
• is close to the mystical movement.
• had a bit of a bumpy start as a young Jesuit provincial who ran the Society with an authoritative hand.
• views ministers within the Church who behave badly as spiritually barren.
• believes that the young Church (view themselves as self-sufficient) and old Church (may try to impose cultural models upon the young) must build a future together.
• sees the Church as a field hospital after battle - needing to heal and nurture the faithful.
• believes that a confessor must be neither too rigid, nor too lax.
• wants the Bishops to leave no one behind, including those who have left the Church or are indifferent.
• wants all sinners to be treated with mercy.
• does not speak much about artificial contraception, homosexuality, or abortion because the Church teaching is clear on those subjects - and that they are not at the heart of Christ's message.
• believes that the Church has a lot of doctrines and for him to focus on only a few incessantly would be wrong.
• wants the salvific message to be proclaimed first, followed by catechesis.
• sees the vowed religious as prophets, leaven. 
• thinks that the volume of complaints sent to the curia in regard to unorthodox practices at a local level are misdirected (I wonder how many are from the Diocese of Rochester). He wants those issues to be reported to the local levels.
• thinks that the current methods of  the Synod of Bishops may not be a good model and wants to look more at how things were done prior to the Great Schism in 1054.
• wants us to walk united with differences as this is the way of Jesus.
• knows that women are different than men, though they are equally important. Functionality and dignity are two very distinct things, and the Church must be clear in the treatment of women in regard to the latter.
• thinks that the moto proprio of Benedict XVI allowing wider usage of the Tridentine Mass was a good thing, but that we must be careful not to malign the novus ordo.
• warns that finding God takes patience, and a contemplative attitude
• believes that if someone says that they met God with total certainty and without a smidgen of doubt, it is not good. If someone believes to have all the answers, God is not with them.
• said that if a Christian is a legalist, he will find nothing. 
• believes that those who look for 'exaggerated doctrinal security' have an inward view of things.
• prefers to say that we must have hope rather than be optimistic. God is hope, and optimism is for humans.
• thinks that we must get out of a 'laboratory' and into the field. In the field, we can see the bigger picture of what is needed to help others. 
• views the Church as having been at times brilliant, and at other times in history, unable to think.
• suffers from a wandering mind in prayer, and sometimes even falls asleep while at adoration (I'm in good company!).

I was a little surprised by a couple of items, but on the whole the interview appears to be rather uneventful. As usual, the mainstream media has created a stir where nothing I would consider 'breaking news' was said. Full disclosure: I had not read any other blog entries, news stories (Catholic or secular) or watched any commentary about the Pope's remarks prior to making this post. After seeing the headlines flood my newsfeed on various social sites, I decided to go directly to the source. I am the first to admit that on +Ponderings+ my focus is often on the very topics (both Abortion and Obama are the most tagged posts) that our Holy Father would view as being more political than spiritual. While thinking about this tendency, I have decided that it is because I hope to have others awakened from a crooked path. I was once lost and want to create a visible waypoint for someone else. Like an ex-smoker preaching about health to a smoker. And with this thought in my heart and on my mind, I close. 

Edited to add: Here is what Bishop Richard Malone of the Diocese of Buffalo had to say about the matter:



Edited again to add: Read what Fr. Z has to say about the liberal (Catholic and non) comments on the Holy Father HERE.

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This was our 400th +Catholic Ponderings+ post!

Misguided Politician of the Week: Governor Dannel P. Malloy

Connecticut Gov. Dannel P. Malloy
Won election in 2010, up for re-election 2014

Though the phrase 'even a broken clock is right twice a day' has been proven to be true time and time again, when it comes to CINO politicians, their brokenness is overwhelming. If he were a clock, Gov. Dannel P Malloy is broken to the extent that only Jesus can repair. There are some issues which are left to individual conscience, and there are some that are non-negotiable. Governor Malloy holds views completely incompatible with Catholicism. I pray that Gov. Malloy will someday see his separation from God, and seek reconciliation with the Church he left behind.

Gov. Malloy is supportive of abortion, stem-cell research (does not differentiate between adult stem-cell and embryonic stem-cell), and same sex "marriage." 

Quotes:

Stem Cell Research: "As Governor I will expand state investment in stem cell research and other cutting edge bio-medical fields; these investments directly generate high-quality, high-skill jobs and strengthen competitiveness in this critical field." Source

On the anniversary of SCOTUS ruling on Roe v. Wade: "A woman's right to control her own reproductive health care--her own body--is not and should not be a question for politicians," said Governor Malloy. "I've always been a strong supporter of a woman's right to choose, and the anniversary of Roe v. Wade certainly marks a milestone. That said, across this country we are witnessing a tremendous erosion of a woman's access to quality healthcare. Through defunding and the egregiously burdensome regulation of fundamental healthcare services, women are being denied their rights to control their own bodies and their futures. Just as we recognize how far we've come in 40 years, we also recognize how far we have to go."

"This anniversary is a reminder that the fight for a woman's right to choose is as crucial today as it was four decades ago--despite all the gains we have made over the years, the battle is not yet over," said Lt. Gov. Nancy Wyman. "We are fortunate that Connecticut has a long tradition of being a leader on this issue, and that the Obama administration is clearly on the side of choice. But we must continue our commitment to keep and strengthen this important freedom--no matter who is in the White House." Source

*Do you have a nominee for a future 'Misguided Politician' entry? Submit your suggestion (does not need to be a politician in the United States) to catholicponderings@yahoo.com

USCCB : Bishops Use the Obama Method When Choosing Advisors

Mary Kay Henry's Bio:

[Emphasis Mine]

Mary Kay Henry was named one of the nation's "Top 25 Women in Healthcare" for 2009 by Modern Healthcare. For nearly 30 years, Henry has represented healthcare workers at the Service Employees International Union, where she helped lead the fight to expand healthcare for millions of children and strengthen the State Children's Health Insurance Program (SCHIP). Henry has devoted her life to helping America's healthcare workers form unions, improve their jobs and the quality of care, and advocate for a more rational and humane health care system. Her faith and values as a practicing Roman Catholic led her to pursue union organizing as a vocation.

...

An active champion of healthcare reform, Mary Kay envisions a U.S. healthcare system that provides universal coverage and gives front-line caregivers a real voice in patient care. She is a member of the executive board of Families USA, a national nonprofit organization dedicated to the achievement of high-quality, affordable healthcare for all Americans. She is also a labor adviser to and member of the U.S. Catholic Conference of Bishops' Subcommittee on Catholic Health Care.

Mary Kay is also active in the fight for immigration reform and gay and lesbian rights. She is a founding member of SEIU's gay and lesbian Lavender Caucus. She and her partner, Paula Macchello, have been together for 20 years.

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Go ahead, 'Google' Mary Kay Henry and the phrase 'marriage' and see what you find.  Then give the Bishops the same treatment - see what they say about marriage.  Could the Bishops NOT find a Roman Catholic in the entire United States of America who adheres to Church teaching that could advise the USCCB on health care?

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Update December 7, 2009:

It seems that persons at the USCCB are taking the temperature of this story as this blog has been visited by individuals directly from the USCCB mail server.   A link to +Ponderings+ is obviously circulating.  

They recently responded to Catholic News Agency in regard to the scandal:

On Monday, Sr. Mary Ann Walsh, media director for the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops spoke with CNA, clarifying the role of Service Employees Union executive and gay rights activist Mary Kay Henry with the bishops' conference.


Sr. Walsh noted that in the past, Mary Kay Henry was chosen by the unions to take part in a dialogue with the USCCB but left in 2006.

She was not appointed by the bishops, Sr. Walsh explained.

Last Friday it was discovered that Henry is listed on the USCCB website as a member of the Subcommittee on Justice, Peace, and Human Development who helped produce the working paper, “A Fair and Just Workplace: Principles and Practices for Catholic Health Care.”

The same day, CNA had asked Sr. Walsh about Henry's involvement with the USCCB, and she replied via email, “She is not a consultant.”

Henry, the international executive vice president for the Service Employees International Union (SEIU) was recently named one of the nation's "Top 25 Women in Healthcare" for 2009 by Modern Healthcare.  Her biography at the SEIU website explains that she is “active in the fight for immigration reform and gay and lesbian rights.”

As far as clarification goes, I don't think Sr. Walsh's e-mail cuts the mustard. Ms. Henry thinks she is an adviser to the USCCB in regard to health care according to the SEIU website.  If she is or is not remains to be seen.  We know that she served the USCCB in the past and according to Sr. Walsh, it was the union and not the Bishops who chose her.  Outstanding plan to have unions choose our advisers!  

Instead of 'googling' to see what the folks in the pews are saying about the issue, perhaps time would be better spent simply stating the facts of the matter.  No wonder so many faithful fail to go to the confessional - it seems the USCCB has a difficult time with confession themselves.  Hopefully, a self-inflicted penance of vetting all advisers and consultants in the future will be considered - and it would be a wonderful step on the path of reforming the USCCB.

NY State Bishops on Marriage

We face today the prospect of a law in New York which would radically change the timeless institution of marriage. As pastors of citizens from every corner of our great state, we stand unified in our strong opposition to such a drastic measure.

Throughout history, different cultures have had different customs regarding marriage. But the one constant has been the conviction that marriage is the union of a man and a woman in an enduring bond, ordered for the procreation and stable rearing of children. Regrettably, the state Assembly has voted to redefine what nature and our common heritage long ago defined for us. We fervently pray that members of the state Senate will stand firm in opposition to this ill-advised legislation, and we call on Catholics and all New Yorkers to contact their Senators to make their voices heard.

Our opposition to this bill is based not only on Catholic teaching regarding human sexuality and the Sacrament of Marriage. Just as importantly, it is based on reason, sound public policy, and plain common sense, as we stated in our 2008 pastoral statement on same-sex “marriage.” (The statement can be found at www.nyscatholic.org.) To briefly reiterate, the state has a compelling legal interest in promoting marriage between men and women in order to create stable families and provide for the safety, health and well being of children. The state has no such compelling legal interest in recognizing a relationship between two people of the same sex.

If there are injustices against those in relationships other than marriage, those injustices can certainly be reformed and corrected in a way other than by drastically redefining marriage.

We close with a final point from our 2008 statement:

“(W)e want to make absolutely clear that our firm beliefs about marriage … must not be misconstrued to be in any way a condemnation of homosexual people or an attack on their human dignity. Our Church teaches, and we affirm, that we must treat our homosexual sisters and brothers with dignity and love, as we would all God’s children. Indeed the Catechism of the Catholic Church warns that any form of prejudice or hatred – “every sign of unjust discrimination” – against homosexual people should be avoided. (CCC 2358)

+Timothy M. Dolan
Archbishop of New York

+Howard J. Hubbard
Bishop of Albany

+Nicholas DiMarzio
Bishop of Brooklyn

+Edward U. Kmiec
Bishop of Buffalo

Rev. Terry R. LaValley
Diocesan Administrator of Ogdensburg

+ Matthew H. Clark
Bishop of Rochester

+William F. Murphy
Bishop of Rockville Centre

+Robert J. Cunningham
Bishop of Syracuse

Help Preserve Marriage in New York State

Help Preserve Marriage in New York State!

On May 12 the State Assembly voted 89 to 52 to legalize marriage between persons of the same sex. The vote on this legislation (A.7732/S.4401) is available here.

The bill now proceeds to the Senate where indications are the vote will be very close. With the legislative session scheduled to recess on June 22, now is the time to communicate your belief in the sanctity of traditional marriage to your State Senator. If you have already used our web-based alert system to communicate with your elected officials, please do so again here. Then take these additional action steps.

1. Call your State Senator to register your opposition to the bill and to redefining marriage in state law. You can identify your State Senator here. Then call the Senate switchboard in Albany at 518-455-2800 and ask to be connected to your state Senator's office. Identify yourself as a constituent and be clear in articulating your opposition to S.4401, the bill to legalize same sex "marriage."

2. Urge three friends, co-workers and family members to use the Catholic Conference Action Center to communicate their opposition to S.4401. Urge them to send an e-mail here and to follow it up with a phone call.

3. Send a letter to the editor of your local newspaper to raise awareness of this issue and urge others to contact their State Senator. Use the talking points and materials here to make your case. You can use our Media Guide to simply and efficiently send your letters to the media.

4. Come to Albany on June 9 for the "Stand Up 4 Marriage" rally on the State Capitol (East) steps beginning at 10:30 a.m. Thousands of New Yorkers from Hispanic evangelical churches rallied for traditional marriage on May 17 in New York City. Now it is time to show lawmakers in Albany the same demonstration of support for marriage. The June 9 rally will be hosted by New Yorkers for Constitutional Freedoms.

5. Pray for your elected officials, especially for your State Senator as they consider their vote on this issue.

Thank you for taking action to preserve the time-honored definition of marriage.

(via Catholic Advocacy Network e-mail)

New York's Gov. Paterson on Gay Marriage

It shouldn't come as a surprise that Gov. Paterson introduced a bill for the legalization of gay marriage in the state of New York. After all, he and former Gov. Spitzer are grand champions of the cause. New York has a long history of 'firsts' and how frustrating it must be to introduce legislation once again knowing that it has no chance of passing. New York is the abortion capital of the U.S. - perhaps we have to let others beat us to the chase on at least some ungodly attempts at new legislation.

What is next? A battle for the legalization of polygamy? A plea to legally marry a chimp who treats you well and is a consenting adult? You just wait. The slope has been slipping for nearly a century. The same people who pushed birth control, overpopulation tripe, abortion and gay marriage march on until they meet no resistance. Right over the edge of no return.


Read Bill Donohue's Opinion Piece on the Culture War in our midst.

UPDATE: Click HERE to take action, New Yorkers!

UPDATE 5/18/2009: From the NY Times: "The Assembly passed a same-sex marriage bill last Tuesday by a margin of 89 to 52, shifting the debate to the Senate. But the bill’s fate there remains uncertain. So far gay rights advocates have received commitments from about 25 of the 62 senators. As many as four Democrats could vote against the bill, and no Republicans have said publicly that they would support it."